What I Was Feeling during my relationship with Nick (1)
In general, I do not trust men. Never, in my experience, has a man done anything without an ulterior motive. Yes, I have my fun with leading men on. If this makes me a terrible human being, then so be it. In my opinion, most of them deserve it. Especially the ones who take advantage of women by abusing and cheating on them. My view on men was altered when I met Nick. He was quite different from the men I usually encounter. He was an outspoken and genuine man. This type of man was extremely rare in this area. I've never had anyone heavily counting on me, so everything I do in my life is to benefit me. I am a clever woman who keeps her true intentions hidden. Though I didn't always show it, I really liked Nick. He grounded me and made me feel safe. Although I thought we made a great pair, I was always worried he hated my vagueness. It seemed the way I was treated others, unconsciously slipped into the way I treated Nick. Can you believe it? Jordan Baker was worried about how she made a man feel. He truly changed me for the better. I wanted to start being more honest with him, which I something that has always been very foreign for me. Nick was so open and I knew so much about him. I was just about to open up to him more when it happened. To be continued...
I never knew you truly felt this was toward me. If this is really how you felt why didn't you show it? Why didn't you tell me? I broke up with you because I was leaving. You deserved so much more than me to leave without an explanation. I just couldn't stay with all the events that had happened, I wasn't leaving because of you.
ReplyDeleteHowever, my one question is if you actually had real feelings for me, why did you announce you were engaged? Was it a lie to cover up your feelings or your dignity? Or if it was true, why would you get engaged to someone else if I was the one you had feelings for? You should have just been honest with me and told me what happened and how you felt.
- Nick